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 Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread

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henrypi
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PostSubject: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Tue Oct 07, 2014 8:44 pm

This looks good to put up all the terrible pick-up lines we've discovered. XP
I'm looking at you, Hulk.

Anyway. Time for un-Harry Potter-like Nintendo pick-up lines.

*Note: Do not take the pick-up lines too seriously*

Spoiler:
 

Pokémon
Spoiler:
 

Zelda
Spoiler:
 

Metroid
Spoiler:
 

Mario
Spoiler:
 

And finally.  Something from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
Spoiler:
 
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ClarionGlass
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Tue Oct 07, 2014 9:58 pm

"Roses are red,
But sometimes they're thorny,
When I'm with you
I get kinda..."

Spoiler:
 
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henrypi
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:00 pm

ClarionGlass wrote:
"Roses are red,
But sometimes they're thorny,
When I'm with you
I get kinda..."

Spoiler:
 

Spoiler:
 
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IncredibleHulk
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:43 pm

The only one I know:

Are you homework? Cause I'm not doing you and I should be.
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ClarionGlass
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:46 pm

Hey Draco, wanna put your basilisk in my Chamber of Secrets? Wink
*shudders at self*
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Luna
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Wed Oct 08, 2014 5:10 pm

Incredible.Hulk wrote:
The only one I know:

Are you homework? Cause I'm not doing you and I should be.

This reminds me of these promotional t-shirts that I saw. They said "If you were my homework, I'd do you". I'm not sure how that promoted the company...

There's this Harry Potter one that I heard years ago, and it's got stuck in my head because of how terrible it is.

"Are you going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?"
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ClarionGlass
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:02 pm

Links to some truly awful pickup lines courtesy of Sparknotes:

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henrypi
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Fri Oct 10, 2014 11:41 pm

Go into a cutlery store.
"Hey babe.  Wanna spoon?"

Spoiler:
 
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chochang
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Sat Oct 11, 2014 7:57 pm

There's some interesting ones on Duolingo.

"Are you a model?"
"Do you come here often?" (My, I never knew that Hulk was trying to pick me up all this time!!)
"Do you have a band-aid? I scraped my knee in falling for you."
"I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated with you!"

Best (as in worst) pick-up line I've seen came from a Chinese phrasebook.

"You look like my cousin!"
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henrypi
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:44 pm

*After seeing a bee*
"Must be after you, honey, since you're so sweet"
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HelgaHufflepuff
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Mon Oct 13, 2014 10:12 pm

One I found from a Sims Pickup Lines blog:

"Do you have the kleptomaniac trait? Because you just stole my heart." Wink
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HelgaHufflepuff
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Mon Oct 13, 2014 11:11 pm

More Sims ones: (I couldn't resist Razz)

"You must be a life plant, because I feel alive again when I'm with you."
"I have the hopeless romantic trait. Want to make it a little less hopeless?"
"Do you have a flame fruit in your inventory? Because you sure are hot."

And just to be a little cliché:
"Is that a lamppost in your inventory or are you just happy to see me?" Wink
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henrypi
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Tue Oct 14, 2014 7:08 pm

*At a bus stop*
"If I stopped here, would you hop on?"
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HelgaHufflepuff
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Tue Oct 14, 2014 11:47 pm

"That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?" Wink
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IncredibleHulk
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Wed Oct 15, 2014 11:35 pm

"You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me." Razz
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timepatches
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Thu Oct 16, 2014 1:32 am

this is all i have to contribute

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HelgaHufflepuff
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Fri Oct 17, 2014 1:09 am

Timey: *applause. So much applause*

One from Reddit, glorious Reddit: Are you an antiquer? Cause I have some junk that hasn't been touched in years. Wink

Also: If you were a fruit... you'd be... a Fineapple. Razz

(And one probably I'll only get - You must have a p-value of at least 0.05, because I fail to reject you. *falls over backwards from t-tests and null hypotheses*)
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henrypi
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Fri Oct 17, 2014 6:11 am

HelgaHufflepuff wrote:

(And one probably I'll only get - You must have a p-value of at least 0.05, because I fail to reject you. *falls over backwards from t-tests and null hypotheses*)

You forget that I did a course in statistics Wink

"My quest is over. My princess is in this castle"
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HelgaHufflepuff
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Wed Oct 22, 2014 12:03 am

So Statistics and Science, Society and Data Analysis are similar... *strokes imaginary beard*

I tried thinking about this one for a long time. It's absolutely cringe-worthy, but I'm putting it up anyway. Because I tried. *sticks gold star to self*

"Are you Mr. Batty? Because your affection is making me solid." Wink

*facedesk*
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henrypi
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Wed Oct 22, 2014 12:06 am

HelgaHufflepuff wrote:


"Are you Mr. Batty? Because your affection is making me solid." Wink

*facedesk*

Yay Very Happy Mr. Batty Razz

Okay, I'm going to hate myself for this one, but anyway Razz

"I feel like a used sponge. Wet and dirty"

*Facecats*
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ClarionGlass
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Fri Oct 24, 2014 5:07 pm

A couple of failed ones from xkcd:
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And also (from asdfmovie can't remember which one):
Hey baby, are you an angel? Because I'm allergic to feathers.
*projectile vomits*
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timepatches
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Tue Oct 28, 2014 9:11 pm

I FINALLY HAVE ONE TO CONTRIBUTE

coughstolenfromyoutubecough

Is that a ladder in your tights?

...................... or a stairway to heaven?
//shot
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henrypi
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Sat Nov 01, 2014 10:50 am

Some people should be able to guess where this one came from Razz

"Hai gurl, I think you'd look good in an animatronic suit. Want me to stuff you in one so we can hang out for all eternity? Wink"
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HelgaHufflepuff
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Thu Nov 06, 2014 1:58 pm

I emailed this to someone (you know who you are), but after thinking about its sheer terribleness I decided to upload it.
So in commemoration of yesterday being Guy Fawkes Day:
"Baby, I'm like a firework - smoking, hot and illegal in several states. Wink"
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henrypi
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Wed Dec 03, 2014 3:00 am

Saw this on a London Christmas Card:
"Ho Girl. Get out the Mistletoe, cos all I want for Christmas is you"
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Pick-Up Lines Thread   Today at 7:48 am

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